My Why

    Every blog starts out with it; a post about the reason the blog started in the first place. I figured, why not! I am starting this blog because I just have too much going on in my mind all the time. What I want to do each day far surpasses the amount of time, let alone energy, that I actually have each day.  I would like to take a small step back from social media and just focus my effort on blogging more. Social media is EXHAUSTING isn't it? I find it exhausting to stay caught up, to be a good friend, to offer advice when I can...even if I don't have the time, to monitor, like, love, cry, laugh...it's exhausting. I don't even feel like I have to go further into it. It doesn't bring me the happiness it used to. It's sad, I have a lot of amazing friends on social media. It's hard to explain.
     One of my biggest setbacks in past blogging is not being able to find a true direction. I want to cook, I want to home school, I want to sew, etc etc. It felt like a jumbled mess of what do I want to be when I grow up. I focused so much energy into finding some solidly, that I ended up failing and disappointing myself all together. The thing is...I am not a true direction type person. I sometimes make promises I can't keep because I know things change. I promise I will not buy more chickens...but I promised BEFORE I knew they'd have silkies! How do you keep your promise and still fulfill your hearts desire?! Walk away from the chickens, B. It's a constant struggle for me.
    I like to cook, I home school, I am starting to learn to homestead, I love essential oils and making my own products, I love business, I own a business, I am a teacher, I recently started raising chickens, goats, ducks. I have 4 boys and a girl, we have 3 boys with autism, our girl has heart defects...the truth is...the no direction, I don't know where the hell I am going, but I am going to keep walking type blog...IS me. I don't fit into a box. I can't. I am at the point in my life where I need to do things for myself. I have always wanted to blog...walk beside me no matter what direction this goes. Walk beside me even if I cry, or scream, or yell or have a bad day. Walk beside me as I laugh with (and let's be real, "at") my children. Walk beside me as I learn to farm, and make new things, and ruin things on accident, make mistakes, have wonderful feats. Walk beside me not having a destination in mind...because you won't find that here..and I am okay with that.

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